TGWM Ch. 5

Chapter 5: Enduring Disgrace

This old soldier was named Chen Er. He came from a ruffian background and was accustomed to trickery and deceit. Even after spending more than two years in the military camp, he had only managed to barely attain the rank of squad leader. Naturally, he was jealous of someone like Lin Aoxue, who had immediately earned the favor of the field marshal upon arrival.

The last time he tried to cause trouble for Lin Aoxue, he thought he would be punished and spent days worrying about it. However, Lin Aoxue remained silent, while he was unexpectedly promoted to platoon leader. This sudden advancement inflated his ego, making him almost unbearably arrogant.

Now that Lin Aoxue had returned and was placed under his command, Chen Er became even more convinced that Lin Aoxue had offended the grand general. Since even the grand general disdained her, he saw no reason to hold back and acted even more brazenly.

Having spent two years in the military camp, Chen Er naturally recognized the other squad leader assigned under him alongside Lin Aoxue—Beichen Ji, the young master of the grand general’s household.

In his mind, this was his golden opportunity. As long as he flattered Beichen Ji and got on his good side, how could he not rise through the ranks and make a fortune?

Thus, from the day he received his new position, he devoted himself to currying favor with Beichen Ji while simultaneously suppressing Lin Aoxue.

Whenever there was a mission, all the credit went to Beichen Ji, while Lin Aoxue was left to do the hard work. On top of that, Chen Er took advantage of his position to berate her at every opportunity under the guise of enforcing discipline.

He was blatant about his actions, shamelessly turning around to boast of his efforts in front of Beichen Ji. Life was good—he was having the time of his life!

***

As winter deepened, the days grew colder, and darkness fell earlier.

Each day, before the sky had fully darkened, Chen Er would order Lin Aoxue to take five men and stand guard for the entire night. It wasn’t until broad daylight the next morning that Beichen Ji’s men would come to relieve them.

This went on day after day. To make matters worse, the newly issued winter coats given to Lin Aoxue’s group were damp and offered no warmth at all. Her subordinates suffered from frostbite on their hands and feet, but they dared not voice their grievances.

At first, Lin Aoxue’s soldiers had high hopes for her, expecting that she would stand up for them. After all, when she first joined the camp, she had been recognized as the top recruit and was personally promoted to squad leader by the field marshal. Among the new soldiers, she held significant prestige.

However, despite Chen Er’s deliberate oppression, Lin Aoxue took no action. She didn’t even show any frustration or anger in response. This left her men confused and, more importantly, deeply resentful.

Disappointed by her silence, they gradually became disillusioned.

One of them eventually came up with an idea—he bribed Chen Er, and his treatment immediately improved. Seeing the effectiveness of this approach, the others followed suit. Soon, they no longer cared about Lin Aoxue’s orders and even started disregarding her instructions for guard duty.

Lin Aoxue turned a blind eye to it all. These men were only making things difficult for her in an attempt to gain Chen Er’s favor, but none dared to outright violate military regulations. Since that was the case, she allowed them to slack off as they pleased.

However, there was one exception.

One evening at dusk, as Lin Aoxue went to inspect the sentry post, she found that a new recruit had already taken his position ahead of schedule.

She remembered this soldier’s name—Lu Sheng. His family had been farmers in Xingbei, but during the autumn harvest, the barbarian cavalry had ravaged their lands, slaughtering his entire family of six. By sheer luck, he had been out at the market selling freshly harvested rice at the time, narrowly escaping the massacre.

With his family wiped out overnight, Lu Sheng had nothing left but hatred to keep him going. He had come to the northern camp, determined to pick up a blade and spear and avenge his kin. To him, nothing else mattered—only relentless training to sharpen his skills, so he could one day take to the battlefield and kill his enemies.

From a distance, Lu Sheng spotted Lin Aoxue approaching and immediately straightened his back, giving her a crisp military salute.

When Lin Aoxue reached him, her gaze swept over his reddened hands, frozen from gripping his weapon. Her brows furrowed slightly as she asked, “You took Sun Hu’s shift?” She distinctly remembered that this watch duty was supposed to be Sun Hu’s, and Lu Sheng wasn’t scheduled to come until two hours later.

“Reporting to the squad leader! Sun Hu caught a cold two days ago and has been feeling weak, so he asked me to take his place today.”

Caught a cold? Lin Aoxue recalled seeing Sun Hu sneaking out of camp just the day before to buy wine and meat for Chen Er. He hadn’t looked sick in the slightest. Her expression turned cold as she said in a low voice, “Do you understand the consequences of lying?”

Lin Aoxue was never an easy person to approach, and when she spoke with such an icy demeanor, the pressure was suffocating. Lu Sheng was just an ordinary soldier—one sharp glance from Lin Aoxue sent a jolt of fear through him. When he met her piercing gaze, he instinctively lowered his head, not daring to look her in the eyes.

Lin Aoxue saw through it instantly. His reaction confirmed that there was more to the story.

By now, she had a good understanding of the soldiers under her command. She knew who was timid, who was eager to curry favor, and who was two-faced and insubordinate.

She hadn’t enlisted just to kill barbarians and avenge her family, as the official records claimed. She did want revenge, but her true enemy was not the tribes beyond the border.

She needed military achievements. She needed power. But those weren’t things she could obtain overnight. She was in no rush for temporary gains or to form shallow friendships. Instead, she carefully observed those around her, knowing that she couldn’t accomplish anything alone. She had to find capable people among the lowest-ranking soldiers—people who could be shaped into her trusted subordinates. If she offered them kindness now, when they were weak, they would one day grow strong and become loyal allies.

Her gaze remained cold and her tone indifferent as she said, “Speak plainly.”

Lu Sheng clenched his fists at his sides, struggling internally. After a few moments of hesitation, his shoulders slumped, and with a dull thud, he dropped to his knees.

“Squad Leader, the platoon leader took a bribe from Sun Hu and removed him from duty. He told me to take his place instead.”

Lin Aoxue’s frown deepened, and her eyes grew even sharper. “Then why did you lie?”

Lu Sheng took a deep breath before finally admitting what had been weighing on him for so long. “Everyone says the squad leader offended the general, so no one listens to you. Even if you knew the truth, you wouldn’t do anything about it.”

Some of the coldness faded from Lin Aoxue’s eyes, and her voice softened slightly. “Do you believe that too?”

Lu Sheng didn’t answer right away. After a brief silence, he finally said, “You must have your own reasons.”

Lin Aoxue smiled. Lowering her voice, she said, “Once winter ends, the barbarians will be desperate for food and will come raiding for grain. When that time comes, we’ll all be on the battlefield. Whether you suffer now or not doesn’t matter—only those who survive will get to make choices.”

She reached down and patted Lu Sheng’s shoulder before turning to leave.

Lu Sheng remained kneeling on the ground, staring blankly for a long time. It wasn’t until Lin Aoxue had disappeared into the distance that he finally snapped out of it and got to his feet.

As he watched her fading silhouette, the frustration and resentment in his heart quietly dissipated.

***

Lin Aoxue made her way to the training grounds. Though night had already fallen, winter days were short to begin with, and it wasn’t too late yet. She intended to take advantage of the harsh weather and dim light to practice mounted archery.

When she arrived at the training grounds, she was surprised to see that Beichen Ji had not yet gone back to rest. He was practicing slashes with a curved blade, and compared to his frail and weak movements two months ago, his strikes now carried a noticeable strength. Every move was executed properly, showing clear progress.

Seeing this from a distance, Lin Aoxue nodded slightly in approval. This pampered nobleman had shed his lazy habits—he was finally worth taking seriously.

As she stepped onto the training grounds, Beichen Ji noticed her. She gave him a brief nod before turning away, heading toward a nearby shed to retrieve a training bow.

But just as she turned, Beichen Ji’s voice rang out from behind her. 

“Lin Aoxue.”

She turned back, her expression questioning.

Beichen Ji casually tossed his curved blade aside and strode toward her with large, purposeful steps. Stopping two paces in front of her, his eyes held a flicker of anger as he demanded, “Are you just going to let Chen Er do as he pleases?”

Beichen Ji had once suffered under Lin Aoxue’s command. At first, he had allowed Chen Er to suppress her simply to make things difficult for her. He had personally experienced Lin Aoxue’s martial prowess and knew just how skilled she was, so he had never truly expected Chen Er to be a real threat to her.

Even though she was only a squad leader now, Beichen Ji was certain that she would eventually earn military merits. A mere Chen Er was no match for her in the long run.

But what surprised and disappointed him was that Lin Aoxue had not resisted Chen Er’s deliberate oppression at all. Chen Er kept pushing, and Lin Aoxue kept yielding—again and again, showing an uncharacteristic tolerance that Beichen Ji found hard to accept. He even began to suspect that Lin Aoxue had been bluffing from the start—that despite her skills, she was nothing more than a coward who preyed on the weak and feared the strong.

Lin Aoxue showed no reaction to his words. Instead, she asked indifferently, “And what of it?”

Seeing her feign ignorance, Beichen Ji’s anger flared. “Lin Aoxue! To think I once believed you had spine, that you had a sense of duty! But you’re nothing more than a coward who bullies the weak and submits to the strong! Chen Er struts around unchecked, trampling over others, and yet you tolerate it without protest. If you can’t even stand up to a pathetic clown like him, how do you expect to kill barbarians and avenge your family?”

As soon as he finished, Lin Aoxue suddenly burst into laughter.

Beichen Ji was caught off guard. He had never seen her laugh so freely before, and for a moment, he was stunned, unable to make sense of her reaction.

When her laughter subsided, she saw the mixture of shame and anger on his face. Shaking her head lightly, she looked at him sideways and said, “Spine isn’t about reckless bravado. People like him—if they’re not dead, they never learn. But even if I kill him now, what difference does it make? Do you think the grand general will spare me just because I’m slightly better at fighting?”

Beichen Ji was momentarily taken aback. He hadn’t thought about what would happen if Lin Aoxue retaliated against Chen Er. After all, Chen Er was a platoon leader, while Lin Aoxue was merely a squad leader.

She had no special status—there was no one to shield her.

“Chen Er’s life is worthless, but I still have a greater vengeance to exact. I’ve endured for years already—what are a few more days?”

Three years of begging on the streets, suffering cold stares and humiliation.

Ten years of silent endurance, swallowing her pride to survive.

How many thirteen-year spans does a person have in their lifetime?

She had spent her best years in the most wretched state, her youth lost forever. And now, nearing thirty, she still had to wear this disguise, using calloused hands to settle old scores, piece by piece.

What else could she not endure?